When our boy died, we wondered, where has he gone. Does he look for us somewhere, wanting to still live.

We feel this wanting to live still. To not be gone. To be home with us. To not have to have been through that moment when he passed away. When he went from us. Taken by another, so totally wrong. At that moment, he wanted to be here, surely. He didn't want to go away, and we weren't there to tell him that we were so sorry to see him go. That we were so sorry that he went like that without us.

Saying goodbye, we don't want to, yet it must be. Articulating a separation when we want to go on . When the three of us , wanted so much to go on. To be together and to be living. "I want to live", this can't be sometimes. For the other who has gone...