Date: Mon, 02 Apr 2001 01:31:12 +0930
Subject: a bit of a chill in the footsies as well as (possibly) the beginning of a fire in the belly
i want to back off from this squatspace number real bad. wonna go on hiding .. and giving myself a hiding. in private of course. because i feel so a-flayed. of so many things. but especially of going public. and going public with goodness only knows what this thing is or might be. that's the rub. the irritation. the itch. that it's ... well, RASH. to proceed with what i don't know. what i haven't got a clue about. well maybe a few clues. but enuf? yeah, enuf to get really lost. anyway teri, to be frank, i don't think i can go ahead with this gig on my own. just feels a bit too much for me. i know it's awfully late notice to be asking you to collaborate with me and i know it's not possible for you to be physically present for the whole gig. but i'm hoping that as well as launching this thing with me, you can stay on-side from your port(al) of adelaide, afterwards. so that whatever process we enter into when we're together (and it seems to have started now anyway, via email), we can keep it rolling along when we're no longer together in squatspace. i know you hate 'performing'. and i'm not expecting you to do any song and dance routines. besides, as you've observed, my performance work to date seems to be a lot about the failure of performance and how that, ironically, can be its success ...