Even so, after a decade, it seemed easier to come home and begin again at zero. Easier, despite the shell-shock, to attempt to impose an emotional grid of meaning over these emotionally tumultuous ten years from here rather then from there; and to attempt to 'become my own saviour' from a position of strength rather than embattlement.|
But there was a cost. I am aware I have skipped over most painful part of the text - that my repatriation and recovery involved leaving behind he for whom I had given up my country and with whom I shared the most important decade of my life. There was no other way, leaving London meant leaving him as he could not live here, and I could no longer live there.