6. My Dream Faded

When the struggle to acclimatise and assimilate finally eases, life dulls somehow. I fall out of love.

My only goal here had been to be in love. I thought it would be like Adelaide only bigger - a rain soft neon lit backdrop. I didn't know then that love is about balance, about having a number of elements in harmony, then sharing these gifts with another. I had needed another to survive - and was on off kilter, unhappy exile.

I move out of our flat and into a tiny place on my own. There followed a series of office jobs. And, happily, much friendship. There never seems a right time to return to Australia. I'd set a day, reserve a fare, and this day would pass - another year and half went by this way.

I make a new friend - who packs a trunk for me - drives me to Heathrow. Failure, relief, and exhaustion...It's still, I think in transit, not the right time to come home.

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